My Honest Thoughts About Lock Down

Here we are, and at the time of writing, in Scotland, the lock down restrictions are beginning to be eased, 10 weeks on.

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So much seems to have happened, yet so much hasn’t. Time has flown by, and yet its dragged. Time in our bubbles of staying at home and focusing on just the simple and essential things is beginning to come to an end. We are finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.

Here’s what I’ve honestly thought of it all…

The Beginning

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I’ll admit that for me, the first few weeks of lock down were filled with anger and fear.

I was livid with shoppers for clearing our supermarkets of loo roll, pasta and flour – the affects of which we are still feeling. I now appreciate that at that time, as there was so much that was still unknown, all of us were living in fear, and some of us had more extreme reactions than others.

As we all tentatively tried to stick to social distancing, my first few weekly food shops were at best filled with anxiety, and at worst ended in me bursting into tears as soon as I got home.

None of it felt natural or normal, and I was terrified that someone getting too close to me would mean that I would catch the virus.

The Middle

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Furlough pay was introduced for workers in industries where they couldn’t work from home. This offered some relief as I knew that I would still be able to cover my rent and bills, just with a little less than normal left over.

As we all got used to the realities of lock down, we gradually got used to a new routine of face time catch ups, zoom quizzes, virtual parties, trying to support local businesses as much as possible, epic group chats, and daily walks in nature. I’ve personally never done so many quizzes in such a concentrated period of time in my whole life!

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It was also around this time that I celebrated my birthday in lock down. It wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be. I had a long hot bath, had afternoon tea delivered, zoomed with family and friends, and drank too much gin. Not vastly different from what I would normally do to celebrate, just all virtual.

My close group of friends and I have also agreed that we’ve become even closer during lock down. We’ve always supported one another when we’ve been going through tough spots, but as a collective going through a challenging time we’ve pulled even tighter together, checking in daily, and it’s shown me what true friends they are.

The Beginning of the End

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I’ve purposely titled my thoughts of our situation currently as this because it really is the beginning of the end; our lives won’t ever be quite the same again, the after affects of this pandemic will last for years.

Although time in my at home bubble has been mentally challenging at points, I strangely find myself not wanting it to end. Being a big introvert, I love time in my own company and can happily spend days on end alone, so arguably I’ve adjusted to that side of things quite well.

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My bubble of predictable day to day life staying at home has become my comfort zone. Now there’s more change on the horizon, and with change there are always some mental hurdles to overcome. Steps outside my comfort zone will need to be made.

After such an initial upheaval to life, is it just me, or does having to do the same thing again in reverse just seem exhausting?

I’m also scared. Scared that we’re moving too quickly, and that this is all happening too soon. Reading the news, it’s hard not to ignore that our daily death rate is still in the thousands (which is horrific in itself) but we’re easing restrictions at the same rate of other European countries, who at most, are seeing deaths in the low hundreds. I’m bracing for the second spike.

Final Thoughts

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One positive to come out of this is that I think we are all feeling the benefits of being forced to slow down, get out in nature, and focus on the simple things. These activities all centre around being in the present moment, which is a tonic to an anxious, busy mind.

I know that when I am able to finally return to work, I will be ensuring that I carve out the time each day and week to properly slow down, rest, and recharge. I know that my mental health will be so much better for it.

I definitely wasn’t getting enough rest before the pandemic hit, and it’s funny how it’s taken something as big as this for us all to really realise the detrimental effects our lifestyles had been having on us.

What has your time in lock down been like? Have you been embracing a slower pace? How are you feeling about restrictions being eased? Let me know in the comments.

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2 Replies to “My Honest Thoughts About Lock Down”

  1. I am so with you on the relaxation being scarier than the quarantine Fran. Our lockdown was very strict so as we have gone from phase 1 to 3 , I have been very nervous. It is wonderful however to be able to ho a little further than our village and to not worry about police checks, drones and the Guardia Civil helicopter spotting us if we were out without the dog! It was pretty intense. I am in no hurry to join the madding crowds again but do miss the children and grandchildren so much… praying for the scientists to find a way forward that will give us the confidence to start living, albeit with the best bits – a simpler life- from quarantine. Sending lots of love. Yxx

    1. I’m in not hurry to be back in the crowds again either. I don’t really understand why people are queuing to get back in the shops in England! Ah, I bet you do miss them – especially with a grandchild on the way too! Hopefully they’ll come up with something science based soon that will make us feel safe. Take care x

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